Shining Free
by kathlaida-princess
Summary: MEOH. Today is a very delicate date for Gaara, and he tries to figure out just how much things have changed with the help of a very special blonde… GaaNaru Friendship and fluff. Shukaku.


**SHINE FREE**

**by kathlaida-princess**

**Summary: **Today is a very delicate date for Gaara, and he tries to figure out just how much things have changed with the help of a very special blonde… GaaNaru Friendship and fluff. Shukaku.

**Author's Notes: **Hello dear readers! I bring you a fic I've written before in drabble style (Friends, from the I Love You series), but have remastered and edited to enter in kosmonauttihai's comic-script competition! :D I grew even fonder of it as I wrote this version, and I surely hope this story makes you feel the best emotions!

Dearest **Chaos In A Perfect Circle **did the arduous task of beta-ing this, and he did a wonderful job at it (thanks so much, my friend!).

EDIT: the story is becoming a comic! Check out my profile for links, and make sure to show kosmonauttihai your love! :)

I guess that is it… Here go a few instructions:

Normal text refers to normal speech.

_Italic text refers to flashbacks (Gaara telling the story)__._

_**Bold text refers to speech inside the speech (characters speaking inside the story Gaara is telling).**_

On with the story! :D

* * *

The room was peaceful then, silent. The only window was opened near the bed and bestowed bright light and comfortable breeze upon the area, as well as a multitude of sounds of the many busy people below. The blue curtain, attached to it, was gently pushed inside by the wind in a playful rhythm, an innocent ghost teasing the living inside.

It smelled fresh, pure, of early Summer. It smelled… only like the Leaf Village could smell…

It was still morning, but it wasn't early. If Gaara had to venture a guess, he'd say it was about eleven, but he wouldn't be sure, the light there was so different from the desert's… The redhead himself was sitting on the edge of the bed, by the window, his pale skin naked under the Leaf Village's sun and his crimson hair glowing, only a sheet was covering the most critical parts of his body, but he wasn't alone. On the other side of the bed, past the scattered clothing and two square hats (one blue and another red), his weight sinking into the soft mattress, Naruto was still asleep, just as naked as his partner, offering his unusual, endearing snores to the mixture of noises outside.

Gaara was facing the village outside with a small smile shy on his lips, black eyelids half-closed to filter the blinding brightness. He enjoyed spending time at the Leaf Village, where every day presented a pleasant surprise to him. He enjoyed the lively people, the chaotic cheerfulness, the motivating energy. But, most of all, he enjoyed being inside Naruto's natural habitat, the place he had learned to call home even if he was so far away from home, the place that saw him change and where he now (and for the past few years) furthered his discovery of love intertwined with lust, always followed by (in both victories and awkward moments) Naruto himself.

Who would have imagined a creature as dark as the redhead would strive for such light? But Gaara did, and reveled when he was amidst it, although sometimes he still lingered in the shade, where he still felt comfortable. But not for long, the Kazekage admitted to himself with a smile. The man still sleeping by his side had a knack for making Gaara ridiculously comfortable with him (and wasn't Naruto such an incarnation of light?) and with Shukaku now gone (even if his absence had left an inexplicably nostalgic emptiness), the redhead could now say for sure (and for the first time) that he had finally achieved true strength… and true happiness.

Oh, did I say the man still sleeping? Sorry, I was wrong. That man was now stretching to almost double of his height and his snoring had become a long, screeching yawn, but Gaara still found it endearing. But then again, what in Naruto did Gaara not find endearing?

The redhead smiled wider, but only turned to face Naruto when the blond had lazily crawled to him and now demanded a kiss. Gaara gladly, laboriously (and somewhat hungrily), complied and, when they parted, the mischievous, lopsided curve on the other's lips and whiskered scars as well as his suspiciously shiny azure eyes drummed as infallible reasons why the Kazekage loved this person so much.

He scooted over and a huge poof of disarrayed golden locks came to nest on his left shoulder. Naruto's gentle breath felt good against his neck when grinning lips came to kiss it, and Gaara's hand almost trembled as it rested on a tan thigh. Now there were two people looking through the window.

"You were snoring just then," were the first words Gaara (or any of the two) pronounced that day, quite mocking too.

"I was not!" the blond immediately replied, as outraged as in all the other times his lover pointed that trait of his out. "There is snoring and then there is breathing loudly…"

The redhead nodded slowly, a chuckle escaped and the broad smile was still there. "Of course," was his ironic reaction.

And, probably understanding that silence was his best weapon if he were to keep in denial, Naruto merely circled an arm around the paler man and squeezed him, then pointing out himself, "You're very happy today… what gives? Or is it because of the things I did to you last night?" The Hokage tended to tell these silly dirty jokes, enjoying how ("not!" Gaara would argue) blushed the redhead's face would become.

This time, the Kazekage didn't say anything in his defense, his reply being quite serious, even if with some lightness mixed into it, "Perhaps… but it probably is because it is an important date to me…" he eyed the tanned man. "It has been exactly ten years since Shukaku was taken from me."

At first, Naruto didn't quite know how to answer that, so he merely stared dumbfounded for a while. Then his expression turned into half a grimace as he whined, "Wow, has it really been that long? We're getting old…" Gaara would have said that being twenty-five did not make them properly old, but he let it be, since the blond carried on, now more cheerfully, "But I guess it's really cool, no? Just look how far you've come since then… Becoming the best Kazekage ever… Getting hotter everyday… Screwing the best Hokage ever every now and then… Getting screwed by him… Sounds pretty darn good to me!"

And that's when the redhead's smile grew the widest and his look became the most tender (and he even chuckled), as he directed them to Naruto. _If only you could see how much of all this is your own doing, Naruto Uzumaki…_ If he hadn't saved his life, if he hadn't showed him how the people still followed and cherished him and thought him strong after the beast was removed (or weren't all of them there, when he was revived?), the Kazekage was sure he'd never recover from that loss. One thing was the Sand Village's inhabitants to trust him when he was hardened by Shukaku's chakra, even if some still suspected he wasn't good enough to withhold the tail. Another completely different thing was for the people to trust him when it was just him, and not the demon, providing protection to their home. And Gaara was positive that Naruto's hand was somewhere in that pleasant surprise too…

"Thank you," Gaara leant in to give and take another kiss. "It is very good. I was very lucky, to have you and my siblings with me."

"Nah, nah, nah, don't give me that luck crap…" the blond told the other off, their faces still close. "I was away from you most of the time and no one could do it but yourself. I know it, you worked your ass off all this time, now and before he was gone. And now the people love you for who you are, what you made yourself be, not me or any others, and especially not because of Shukaku. You are greater than he could ever be, and you managed to show that to everyone. Be proud of that!" And, after a pause which he used to smile lovingly, he added, "I am proud of you…" then taking the pale hand that had been resting on his thigh and pressing it gently against his lips.

However, as a tanned thumb then brushed against the soft skin of Gaara's left hand, it found an irregularity there, a small circle, no bigger than a little-valuable coin, over the back of the hand: a scar. Naruto's eyes always widened ever-so-slightly whenever he was reminded of that mark, and the event that led to it, and apparently the redhead had noticed it that time, for a white finger of his was tracing it as well immediately after.

"I am glad. In fact, I consider it one of my greatest achievements, you being proud of me, and my greatest joy. That, and knowing that you l-love me." The redhead could never avoid the tremble in his voice whenever he spoke of it. "But… I think that more important than you or me, all these pleasant things in my life happened because of the two of us, together. You have always said it yourself, it is our bonds that make us strong, and I believe it was our bond, our strengths united, even when we were apart, that made this all possible." Gaara tapped the round scar with the same pale finger.

"Naruto… does this still bother your?" he asked. But he was still smiling widely.

The blond was slightly caught by surprise by the question, but he still replied truthfully, "Well, a little… Because I remember how it happened and how I could have stopped it… I should have understood it better at the time and I still don't understand all parts of it…"

"Do you want me to explain it all now?" the other interrupted.

Naruto looked Gaara in the eye and saw he was speaking seriously. "R-really? Doesn't it bother YOU?"

"No," was the Kazekage's simple, straight reply. "This mark never caused me discomfort. And, up to this day, I hold nothing but good memories from that moment. I can tell you why, it will be as if I am telling you a story."

"A wake-time story, I see," and now Naruto was grinning impishly. "Sure then, I want to listen."

And, just like that, he squeezed his lover's hand once more and fell back to their original position, blond head on the other's shoulder, but this time making sure he could always see Gaara's face. He waited for a moment, as the redhead took in a deep breath, and then he began speaking…

"_You remember when it was:__ in a time so far away from the one of this present that almost seems like another life now. But, at the time, your words and actions gave me so many railings and crutches to hold onto, while I was slicing myself in two and choosing the part of me I preferred…"_

(Naruto's eyebrows immediately rose at Gaara's careful choice of words, but he shouldn't be so surprised. It actually amused him, that the redhead could speak so poetically as he told him a story – part of their own story together… He was listening intently, like everyone seemed to do whenever Gaara spoke…)

"_It was little before Uchiha left in his stubborn quest, too little after we fought, and you swept my life meaning away from me…_

"_Those days, headache, exhaustion and nigh-despair were my constant companions, but I had to see you, if I wanted to make them the only effects Shukaku had on me…_

"_I wanted to see you, because only you could help me then, because it was from you that my very first help __had come, to disconnect myself from the beast, and a demon is not controlled by just a great help. It needed not only constant effort from my part but also the gathering of all the littlest helps I had received from you and my siblings over the time to control Shukaku (to say the least), and for that I had to see you, to learn more, to know if I was in the right path to deserve them (only you could shut up the monster and guide me...)._

"_Since my siblings and I were undertaking an important mission in the Fire Country at the time, I felt it appropriate to ask them if I could come to the Leaf Village afterwards. I noticed that they at first seemed reluctant about leaving me unguarded, such little time after I began my fight for honest recognition (even that mission was a risky gamble), but Kankurou managed to persuade our sister to let me go. You see, I had spoken to him before, when we were home, about how determinate I was to make all this right, because of you… He always let me try, Kankurou. He trusted me, with you, even when I thought I did not deserve that trust. He… has always been a good big brother…"_

"I…" Naruto interrupted for the first time, a bit insecure of what he was about to say, "I remember your brother, when you… when you were taken… He was the one who kind of… trusted your life to me…"

"A wise decision," Gaara replied with a smile. "It obviously turned out well. Temari soon became more like him, and now, I do cherish them both the same way… It is true, what they say. There are some problems that can only be solved with the help of a woman, however brash, like Temari, she might be…"

"_But I digress…__" the redhead went on._

"_After our employer was satisfied with our work and our mission was complete, I indeed came to the Leaf Village, alone._

_**- What makes you think the **__**brat will want to see you again? – **__Shukaku would hammer my brain as I informed myself of where you lived. __**– Just because you're so obsessed with him, what makes you different from all others he faced in battle with that ridiculous attitude of his? Ah, this shall be entertaining! I want to see what you'll do when your precious savior doesn't even remember you…**_

"_I ignored those words, as I always did. I had to, I needed to stash them away in some part of my mind I wouldn't visit __if I wished to retain my sanity, and that was why the headache was a constant presence… But I admit that his suggestion still stung, still filled me with doubt… What was I more than the others, especially when I had harmed your special people?_

"_However, giving up was not a possibility for me anymore. So I relied too much on hope, on nothing but a silly desire that you now considered me someone other than an enemy, and I went to you…_

"_That's why __I was so surprised to see the happiness flooding you when I knocked on your door and you answered it, happiness that reflected upon your eyes and remained as we left your house and we walked. You talked and I listened and replied, and you noticed how different I had become by your actions. Not selfish, but humble, not aggressive, but serene, quiet, a student of life, a better person, a person, at last…"_

"Surprised?" the blond now asked, chuckling. "You shouldn't be, I was the one who was afraid that I hadn't done enough for you! It was really good seeing you then, and to know you actually cared enough to visit me… I was… I was worried you wouldn't consider us friends, and I really wanted to get to know you better. It isn't everyday you meet another… like us two… And you gave me that… I was beyond happy!"

And, lost for what to say, Gaara merely pressed another kiss against his lover's face and continued his speech…

"_Well, you surely made Shukaku swallow his own words that time…_

"_The day was pleasantly warm (much like this one today) and the forest that ran beside us provided shade to our steps. _

"_The idea for us to walk together had been yours, perhaps spurred by what you just explained, and it was precisely that that took me to your village that day: just to see you._

"_I know I felt something very different from the rest every time I saw you approved of this change of mine, something pleasant and so familiar, and then I remembered that it was that feeling for which I strived when I was younger and tried to be friendlier with the rest of the children._

"_I remember asking myself if that feeling would last or if I would end up ruining it, I remember Shukaku whispering to me his wish for the realization of the latter, I remember ignoring that wish of his and going on listening to you. I know I thanked you somewhere in that walk, it was that, after all my main purpose, with all honesty, tenderness and strength I could come up with. (The tenderness was not much, I hadn't yet learnt anything on how to give it). And I know that you listened to me in silence, I know what a simple thank you caused in you..."_

Naruto was then smiling his widest, more sweetly than mischievously, the words of thank you Gaara had given him replaying in his mind. Whatever the Kazekage's thank you was, it hadn't been simple.

"**- I came here to offer my sincere appreciation for your assistance, Naruto Uzumaki… -** That was what you said, Gaara…" the blond completed. "**- I am profoundly indebted to you and to your good nature, and I wish nothing more than to grant you my own humble assistance if ever you need it, as a sign of my gratitude. Thank you, for the new road opened ahead of me, and thank you for having me here with you today as well… I shall not forget it…**"

"You… you still remember my words?" the redhead asked, befuddled.

"Are you kidding me?" was Naruto's cheerful reply. "That was the most refined thank you I had in my life!"

And, at that, the Kazekage did nothing more than laugh and continue…

"_So, after I spoke, y__ou were so excited… you began saying things so amiable that, unlike you, I cannot even remember the exact words now... Compliments to me and promises, you said you helped very little and I was now someone amazingly "cool" to have around, you said that I had nothing to thank you about because I was now your friend... So many compliments and promises, so many guarantees that I would never feel alone again when no one had ever done that to me before without betraying me... A friend... I had a friend in you…_

"_And, from now on, this is probably the part you did not comprehend before…_

"_You have to understand that it hadn't passed enough time since our battle, I didn't have enough experience outside Shukaku's control... Your words filled me with a dose so huge of that so pleasant feeling that I felt obliged to pay it back... in any possible way... When it was Shukaku the one to make me feel like that, to fill my mind with his voice and love to keep loneliness at bay, I would pay him with death, every month, during the full moon, and the better the sacrifice, the more savory the blood, the better I would feel, and the more Shukaku would treat me like a real Mother..._

"_Inside me I knew I had to do you the same, that such was expected from me, to fill your promises and compliments, to deserve your friendship. But you taught me that I should protect instead of kill, so it could not be exactly the same. And, because of that, I chose to deliver my sacrifice in another way..._

"_You probably didn't even notice how my hand moved, how fast I was to reach for my kunai. For a moment, the weapon in my hand, I hesitated, thought of using it against you, to rip that so contradictory life from your body, because I still feared you would betray me (didn't they all?), I still feared Shukaku was actually right, but the hesitation lasted only just one moment._

"_On the next moment I already had the blade carved on the top of my left hand and a reasonable squirt of blood dripped from the wound. It hurt, it hurt so much, but it didn't matter, it was a necessary pain, just like my soul had hurt every time I had killed in the name of the sand... I could hear Shukaku's cackles echoing inside my head. It was bizarre he hadn't stopped the blow... suspicious... I should have known better by then, by that..._

"_I didn't have time to read the shocked expression in your face as I readied for a second strike, but it didn't happen, because you were swift to stop me, your strong hand gripping my wrist. And it was then that I looked at you, Shukaku's words now clear:_

_**- **__**You are such an idiot...**_

"_A dreadful mixture of emotions shone in your eyes, I believe you even felt panic at that moment, I believe you thought me insane, didn't you?"_

After being faced with those events from Gaara's point of view, Naruto's mood fell a bit, making him feel guilty, but he still answered honestly, "Well… No one had ever done the same in front of me… and I knew what you were capable of, so… yeah… I was scared… and I probably thought you were out of your mind too… But I should have known better as well, of what happened… I'm so sorry, Gaara…"

The Kazekage, however, dismissed the blond's apologies and still smiled, his expression so full of adoration. "Don't be sorry… Anyone else would feel the same, think the same of me, I cannot blame them for it…

"_But you're not anyone else, are you? Even without knowing the ordeals I went through in my mind every day, you always understood me so well, always knew all that hurt me... And even if you were afraid, you still called out to me, hesitant, asking me:_

_**- What… what are you doing?**_

"_I was confused... _

_**- **__**Wasn't that what you wanted, a proof of my friendship?**__ - I asked you. But you said:_

_**- No… - **__and you were still scared - __**not that kind of proof, at least…**_

"_And I felt so lost, so failed... If you were scared of me, then it was because I had spooked you away, like I had done to all others, and it meant I had lost against Shukaku..._

"_He cackled more inside my head then, of my pitiful efforts, of my foolish mistakes..._

_**-**__** You'll always come back to me, I am the only one who wants you...**_

"_Remember that I had become the six-year-old child again then, but now carrying the burden of 300 deaths upon my back, inside my gourd... With the strength our battle gave me, I was able to force Shukaku away from me and restart my fight for others' recognition, but with this burden, each little mistake cost me more, each little failure made me want to give up so much, and the demon wouldn't help, he mocked me so much…_

"_I wanted to get away from there, humbled, I didn't want to see you again, not like that. If I could, (if I were able to) I would have cried. And perhaps I have... I remember bringing my bleeding hand to my head, trying to make it all go away, but then I'd feel my own crimson life drip across my skin and I was reminded of how unfit I was for this world, your world…_

"_However, you still squeezed my wrist and spoke to me again, but this time with something much different from fear guiding you. Something beautiful, breathtakingly noble and bright in those big eyes of yours._

_**- **__**I-it is him doing this to you, right? - **__was your simple question.__** - The monster.**_

"_See what I meant? You understand me... I nodded and you went on._

_**- **__**You needn't do any of this to be my friend. Would you have wanted me to do the same to be yours?**_

"_Never. A certainty I had since then was that I would never want to see you hurt anymore. I shook my head vigorously._

_**- **__**Then you understand. It's the same with me...**_

_And it was. It had always been, even if it took us so long to understand… How you managed to read me so well is beyond me, though…"_

Naruto actually giggled sadly at that. "It wasn't difficult. You only did that thing of grabbing your head when Shukaku was hurting you… And then I realized, it must have been him to convince you to stab yourself… And now I know why… But I still can't see how this is a good memory for you…"

"I shall explain it then…" Gaara said as he nodded, smiling.

"_All was well between us then…_

"_But I still didn't get it... _

_**- This can't be it, though… - **__I said, in my confusion. - __**I still have to give you something, sacrifice something of mine to you… I can't just receive your friendship like that… -**__ receive all that tenderness without having to suffer, I couldn't, my life had never been like that..._

"_But you explained me that too, smiling…_

_**- No, Gaara, you don't have to. Friends**__** protect each other without any sacrifice. A person becomes friends with another person because they believe, because they (maybe crazily) trust that the other will be happy for that protection, without there being any payment between them. You would only have to sacrifice your own sorrow, your loneliness… Do you understand?**_

"_I understood then, yes… And I understood too __that Shukaku never was my friend. And I noticed then that he was no longer cackling nor were his words drumming with mock inside my mind. Once again, you had won against him, scared him and silenced him..._

"_But the blood still dripped from my hand and another part of Shukaku, the less treacherous and more animalistic one, growled with pleasure, because better than the blood of the prey is the blood of the predator itself._

_**- Naruto... -**__ then it was my turn to call you, show you my wounded hand, now invaded by the hungry sand._

_- __**Oh, you're hurt, right… Come with me…**_

"_And, sitting under the shade of a tree, you took out a useful first-aid kit and bandaged my hand, every now and then cursing at the sand that got in the way._

"_I took the chance to thank you once again… Not a sacrifice, but a genuine appreciation for your friendship and constant help, the hope for success even when I was about to give up..._

_**- Naruto…**_

_**- Hmm**__**?**_

_**- I… I feel the need to repeat my thanks. It was exactly this kind of assistance that I spoke of before. You… perhaps unknowingly… guide me through my own path of probations… What you taught me, I have used it to scare the monster, Shukaku, when I faced him head-on for the first time. And up to this date, I still use it as a valuable help, even now… Thank you, Naruto… I… I wouldn't know what to do without it…**_

"_I didn't tell you at the time, but thought of it, that you were my constant hope for me to still become a good person, at the end of all this, despite all my mistakes and sins (and you still are...). Well, now you know it._

"_And that time it was you who had trouble dealing with compliments, and I watched you as you blushed and squirmed in flattery, the emotion so obvious in your gestures but so difficult to be expressed when words are so limited and limiting! And I noticed with pleasure that you didn't use them, instead you reached out your hand for me and squeezed my shoulder gently, such a kind gesture of affection, and I made sure to learn how it made me feel and how it was done, in case I needed it. You smiled, almost beaming, and perhaps I have smiled too (at least I felt like I was smiling...). I hope I did._

"_And, while you tended to my wounds in so many ways besides the literal one, I learnt two things..._

"Oh, really?" there was a challenge in Naruto's tone. "What was that?"

"_Well, f__irst: we were friends, and it seemed that my admiration for you was a mirror of yours for me. That would silence Shukaku for a long while, the reality that he was no longer the only one..._

"_And__ second: every time emotion was bigger than your vocabulary, say, during a particularly emotional goodbye, it was best for you to resort to physical contact, even if I had to be the one to start it. It seemed I would only need to reach out a hand, and on that day I had learnt to do so..."_

At the end of Gaara's explanation, a very pensive Naruto had released the redhead's left hand and was reaching out his right one to the air in front of him in an invisible handshake, as if testing something. A feeling of déjà vu washed over him and the blonde was reminded of a scene, almost exactly ten years ago, when a trail of sand had guided that hand of his to its paler soul mate, in that very same position.

"Oh…" was all Naruto could say at first, affection and understanding bubbling pleasantly inside of him. "I see now…"

"Good…" Gaara answered, claiming the tanned hovering hand as his again and sheltering it in his scarred one once more. "You were never a fast thinker…"

"That might be true, but I too learned two things about you today…" was the Hokage's immediate defense.

"Hmm, do tell me…"

"Well, the first is that you're an even more amazing person than I thought before and I love you even more now… And the second is that you get particularly chatty, and way more interesting, when you're telling a story…"

"What?" Gaara tried to fake offense but it came out as half-amusement. "Are you telling me I'm dull?"

"Not at all. In fact, you can prove how dull you're NOT while we are inside the shower and you show me what else that hand of yours can reach out to…"

"I am very tempted to accept that proposal, you know?"

"Nice!"

And then Naruto was standing up and in front of him, guiding Gaara by the scarred hand to the bathroom with his blinding light.

But the redhead was not startled by his light, not anymore. He was done mingling in the shade, eternally fearful that he still might not be good enough by himself, without the demon to hold onto… Perhaps, after ten years, he was ready to allow himself to smile without worries, to love without holding back, to speak his opinion without fear of being belittled. It's not like he couldn't do such things before (all the good things now happening in his life made so impossible), but there was always doubt and insecurity creeping there.

But now perhaps the Kazekage could be completely free…

"Naruto…"

Gaara stopped the blonde with a gentle tug, pulled him close to kiss him thoroughly and then pressed him forcefully against his body in a tight embrace. When the Hokage found himself amidst the other's arms, he couldn't help but smile, soothe his vermillion hair with his hands.

"I love you, Naruto…" and that time the redhead's voice didn't tremble. "And know that it is right, what I said, it is our bond that brought us this far… I think… after all this time… I think things will finally stay good like this…"

"I know…" was the other's muffled reply, as his head replaced his hands. "And oh yeah, they will! This time I'll always be here to make sure of that!"

And after that, in between more smiles and more shown-rather-than-said words of affection, the two lovers resumed their small journey together, hand in hand, to the shower…

Bonds with others had always been a delicate subject for Gaara. He had never had one he could fully enjoy until Naruto came to his life.

Befriending Naruto had helped him gain the freedom to be himself.

Being himself made him love Naruto even more than a friend.

Loving Naruto let him step fully into the light, far away from cold darkness where he never belonged…

In the light, he could see what he had become in the end, and in the end, among the good, the bad and the in-between, Gaara could finally be proud of himself, the Gaara he was free to choose to be and that Naruto loved with all his enormous heart…

* * *

**THE END**

So sappy!!! :D

But hopefully still enjoyable! ^^

kathlaida-princess logging out…


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